Random Upswing

The house is tidy, no one is sick, my desk has been cleared (though not entirely conquered for real), and it seems like a great moment to go to bed.

All these changes in the world make it harder to blog. Not that I don't have just as much to say, but I'm out doing things, and spending so much time catching up from the month and a half with three fevers. And then catching up with my love, who is always off working. I'm just so glad we're all finally all the way better.

Which brings me to raw. Or not raw, more accurately. When ill, I just want matzoh ball soup. End of story. So on day five of mostly raw for Lent, I relented, and made matzoh balls. And I was happy. I feel no less contemplative, as so many Lenten opportunities present themselves each day or week. Money is tight. How's that? I willingly sacrifice some things so we can continue on this path. It's not how I'd like it to be in all ways, but in more ways that are more important, all is well. Money is just money. No worries.

Running on empty without coffee is harder. That's for sure. Getting really fit will probably help. We want to start P90X and get ripped together. We're prepping. Maybe starting this week. I don't want to start without recovery supplements. I think that's fair. I may even go nutty and do one of those awful before and after YouTube photo montages with weekly update vlogs. It could happen. Maybe that would get me doing the whole vlog thing more.

Right now I'm finding some combination of faith and thought is the best answer. Thinking things through, and then letting go. I'm a big fan of leaving room for Grace. Funny how it actually works when I actually do it. I'm not really a chat with God type, so it feels funny even thinking about my own faith this way, but I don't think I need to analyze it. I think I'm okay just letting it be. If it works, why am I going to mess with it? To be rigorous? Why in all things? Or maybe, why not invite the possibility that rigor can be the act of trying on faith a different way, and not freaking if it changes some things I thought I was sure about. Why should rigor equal cynicism?

Huuuuuhhhhuubblaaa. Got kinda deep there. It's Lent. What can I say?