Twilight

I'm a little late to the trough, I realize. But yesterday I consumed all of Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.

Of course it's a real page turner. I laughed aloud, sighed, got antsy, even shushed people who tried to talk to me while I read (kids? what kids?).

I understand the market share and mind share of the book and it's characters. It's really compelling, well told, and an easy read. She gives good foreshadowing, her dialog never skids, the plot is pleasantly loopy, she's a master of building tension, sexual and otherwise. She paints the Reluctant Dragon well, and he is a sympathetic character, for a vampire. She describes desire perfectly. She tells of the worldly man's restraint, and the maiden's desire to be ravished.

There's even a hat-tip to the national evolution vs. creation non-debate. What a good Mormon she is, throwing that into her NYT Bestseller. It turns out vampires believe in Intellent Design. Who knew?

From doodles to facebook flair to online quizzes, there's a mass of young girls out there wanting someone just like Edward. I get the tension, the good looks, the wealth, the surface appeal.

But the devil is in the details.

Even if he was not a vampire, one fact is clear based on his smaller, seemingly insignificant relationship behaviors. He is not a nice man.

At first I attributed the Cullen character's oddities to mere vampiric repertoire, as I'm sure most readers also have. He is, after all a predator of humans. The red flags were buried in the willingness to be taken, the desire to be led by the author.

Then little things began to get in the way, and irritate me. He belittled her, he "playfully" touched her nose or tousled her hair (like she was a child), he was jealous, possessive, controlling. When ever he was being her savior, or his mood would swing, or she was scared, or its inverse--felt "so safe", or when he stalked her, spied on her, shook down her friends for information (even if they didn't realize) I couldn't help but take note.

Do any social workers want to jump in here? Psychologists? Councillors? Priests? Cops? How about anyone who's ever taken a psych class?

I don't think it's over-analyzing to point out Edward's controlling personality or anger issues. He is possessive, demanding, unpredictable, violent. Bella excuses him with deep self-critique, attributing his moods to her perceived weaknesses, or low blood sugar. A co-dependant extraordinaire.

This is a nasty relationship cocktail. And this model has been sold, lock, stock and barrel to our nation's youth.

Meyer's sadomasochistic brilliance easily puts her on the shelf next to Pauline Reage, with apologies to Reage for the pulp inclusion. Don't be distracted by the reference to pornographic literature. That's not my point. The Story of "O" is about nothing if not relationships. Placed there Twilight is in the company to which it aspires, however unwittingly Meyer may have made it so.

As the series progresses either he must leave off these behaviors, or fulfill his present trajectory. It would be so disappointing to think Meyer is naive enough to miss this layer of detail, this place where he represses his nature as a vampire most admirably, but is still a monster of a human.

For children, she should acknowledge, and have him engage in further behavior modification to leave his patronizing control freak excuse for affection behind, and mature in the relationship to expressing some dose of respect. I can't help thinking of Bella as a pet. Her willingness to lose herself in him is equally troubling. She'll have to grow past her penchant for enmeshment.

She's not wrong to want equality, but she's barking up the wrong tree thinking it's only about being a vampire, or immortality. It might be she just wants to be respected and taken seriously as a woman, but only until she's seduced again.

I'm off to read the second book. More curmudgeonly observations to come, I'm sure. But right now just shush. There's about to be some kind of gun fight at the ok corral. As soon as she figures out what's going on she might even be useful.

SPOILER ALERT for NEW MOON
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One last thing. If he was really trying to leave her, but not in a lurch...if he really loved her and wanted her to move on, he should have done something to make her hate him and be afraid for real. Something to make her run away. Then she'd have been able to move on. How can he be 90, but still 17? Of course, what point in further books if that happened? Damn it. Stephanie Meyer, I am so sucked in.

Fine. Off I go.